Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
