Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
