You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
