Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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