Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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