i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
