Welp...herpes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
