The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
