he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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