Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
