Duck Duck Cougar?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
