remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
