You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
