and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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