Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
