guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
