Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
