I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
