Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
