Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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