I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
