i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
