the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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