"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
