I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
