What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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