if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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