Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
