i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
