TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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