i wish peter jackson would direct porn
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
