i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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