I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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