I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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