Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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