I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
