at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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