taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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