so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
