absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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