So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
