I didn't shave. On purpose
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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