just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im six kinds of drunk right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
