ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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