Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
