When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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