i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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