Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
