I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
