Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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